My Son Got Married....

It is with a heavy, sad heart that I have to report that my son was married on November 9. We are extremely upset, as we do not believe that the girl he has chosen to marry is the right one for him. There are many issues, but the MAIN issue is that they have only been together since he returned on September 15. They had corresponded by email and myspace for a time, but how can you really know someone when that is your only contact?

He leaves for Belgium the end of January....so that is part of the reason for the rush. She has two kids, but neither have lived with her for quite some time. She is planning on taking them to Belgium with them. We are genuinely fearful of our son's decision. He is so fragile at this point, that if this blows up in his face...not sure how he would handle it...

I am upset with the Army also. Seems like with all the PTSD cases...that they would be more diligent to make sure their soldiers did not make these life altering decisions so quickly after returning from combat. He was married within 7 weeks of returning from that God forsaken place...to a girl he doesn't even know! I contacted his command, asking for intervention....they did speak with him...and they came up with a "compromise" but they are not following up on the decision either, apparently. He agreed to go for counseling, but it has been over a week, and he hasn't done anything to start the process...my guess is..he won't.

We are a close knit family and for him to do this...without us present...tells me that he knows this isn't right. Our daughter is getting married in January, she has waited for her brother to return from Iraq to get married because she wanted more than anything to have him there....now I don't even know that he will be...just breaks my heart.

The main thing that I stress...to anyone going/returning from combat...is...you don't make life changing decisions...marriage, divorce, etc. immediately before or after a deployment. The soldier needs time to collect his thoughts and realize that he isn't in harms way any longer.

So, for as much as I did and sacrificed for my son during his deployment...he made no difference now. I begged, I pleaded and I sobbed, but I couldn't get through to him. Many of our family and friends contacted him and asked him to wait, but he didn't listen to anyone.

On a happier note, our plans for our daughters wedding are coming together. I just can't believe how much weddings cost! But it is money well spent...she is a good girl, and we love her fiance. They have been dating for over 3 years...they took a "test" that the church had them take...a compatibility test...they came last night...said the national average was a score of 50. They scored 70...so the counselor was concerned...they answered too many questions alike! LOL! Guess it doesn't hurt to wait and get to know each other before hand!

Well, that is all for now. I have a Army mom coming over in about an hour...we are just going to get together and just talk for a little while. And I have orders to get done this afternoon.

Thanks for listening...